Flash Fiction: ‘Frosty Panes’

Flash Fiction: ‘Frosty Panes’

The black BMW cruised to a halt before the red light.

Kunle’s fingers drummed impatiently on the steering wheel. He flicked his wrist to check the time on his Cartier watch, it was a quarter past 9:00 AM. The Sunday Church Service would begin in ten minutes.

“We’re going to be late again. Typical Sunday morning.” he muttered with thinly concealed irritation.

Laide paused halfway through applying her make up. Her right hand which clutched the mascara wand slowly dropped into her lap.

“And whose fault is it?” She said turning in her seat to face him squarely.

“That’s a rhetorical question I hope? Who spent half the morning running helter skelter around the house? Honestly Laide, it wouldn’t kill you to be a bit more organised.”

The light turned green and the car sped forward.

“Wow, just wow. That’s all I can say right now” Laide began rummaging through her handbag. Her cheeks were flushed.

“What else is there to say?” Kunle asked quietly.

“Actually there’s a lot more to say!” Laide suddenly turned back to him. “Maybe if someone helped around the house and I didn’t need to do everything, then I wouldn’t be running around like a headless chicken.”

“Did you ask me to help you with anything? What on earth are you going on about?”

“Do I need to ask you before you lift a finger? Don’t you have eyes, Kunle?” Her voice was rising in pitch. “So an overflowing garbage bin would sit staring at you, and you’ll only take it out if I ask? Even the sink was…”

“Please don’t be ridiculous.” Kunle cut her short. “The bulk of the time you wasted today was on searching for what to wear. You do remember were heading to church not a beauty pageant?”

Laide laughed and shook her head. The car was easing into the church’s parking lot.

“You’d be happy to walk into church with me looking like a hot mess?” Laide continued. “Recall that the Proverbs 31 woman’s clothing is ‘fine linen and purple’. She takes care of herself and looks good so her husband is proud of her. Or do you think I don’t notice the single ladies frolicking around you after service?”

Laide looked out the window and saw a group of choristers walking in the car park.

“Oh talk of the angels… here are some of them already.” she said sarcastically.

“Here we go again with your nonsense. We’ve arrived now, so kindly get a grip.” Kunle spat the words out.

“As you wish. Can you at least open the door for me? My hands are full with the pamphlets.”


Kunle stepped out of the car, walked around and opened the door for Laide as the choristers approached.

“Good morning Pastor Kunle!” several voices echoed happily.

“Oh hey good morning ladies, great to see you in church.” Pastor Kunle replied with a wide smile. His effortless charm was undeniable.

As the couple walked into church the choristers began to talk excitedly.

“My goodness, such a beautiful couple!”

“He still opens the door for her after being married for years? So romantic.”

“Spiritual, loving, handsome and rich. Dear Lord, please send me a man exactly like Pastor Kunle. I need such perfection in my life right about now.”

“Don’t we all?!”

They burst into laughter and walked in behind the couple.

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